You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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