dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
