I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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