Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
