guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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