no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
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