omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Randomize
