you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
