Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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