Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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