3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
