I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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