I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
