Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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