Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Randomize
