Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
