Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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