who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
