hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
