thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Naked Twister starts at high noon
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
