I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Randomize
