you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
You smell like stripper and shame
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
