In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
sex in a hospital.. check
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
