yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
