She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
