All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
