i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
