Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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