Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
