never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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