Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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