Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
this hospital has no fireball
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
