While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
The air was thick with penises
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Randomize
