I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
