I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
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