our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
