return my video game
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
