Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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