I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
