YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
