If i come over, it means nothing
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
He's on the porch naked. Help.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
