the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
