they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
