the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
The feeling are messing with the penis
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Randomize
