Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
