ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
