I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
