we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
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