She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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