need another drink. this is the easiest way
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
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