Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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